Finding out I was pregnant was one of the happiest and scariest moments of my whole life. Peeing on a little stick decides if the course of your whole life will change, it's really a mind-blowing 3 minute wait for those lines to show up! I have a habit of making a joke about everything, so when I told Mike I was pregnant, he immediately thought I was lying. After he saw the evidence, I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. I immediately started crying. He kept saying "Are those happy or sad tears!?!" Too many emotions in a very quick amount of time. We hugged and collected ourselves, as we were throwing Brodie his 4th Birthday party an hour later! How I played it cool and didn't tell every single person that walked in the door that day still surprises me. I called a few girlfriends who I knew could keep a secret and left it at that.
When I first found out I was pregnant, everyone told me how quickly time would fly. During my first trimester, I thought they were all liars. My first 12 weeks of pregnancy were spent finishing up my Bachelors Degree in Social and Political Science. I had never been more miserable. I was constantly tired, nauseous, and super cranky. I was very lucky to have some amazing teachers that accommodated me greatly during those last few weeks. Imagine writing three fifteen page research papers plus finals while working (all while puking). Alas, I finished school, and my second trimester started. I immediately felt better, although I hear some unfortunate women experience the nausea throughout their pregnancies. I had energy, and I once again felt better about life. I started to focus on eating healthy and preparing my baby for a healthy life ahead.
Mike and I were thrilled to find out we were having a girl. We already have a little boy and I secretly hoped we would be blessed enough to give him a sister. (Plus, girl clothes are really so much more fun!) I've always had a strong connection with women in my life. It only felt natural to me that I would one day have a daughter.
When deciding our daughters name Mike and I almost immediately agreed. Mike, owning a surf shop and being a shaper has obvious ties to the water. I myself grew up in a coastal community, worked my summers at the beach, and come from a long line of skilled sailors and watermen. Our connection to the water is what brought us together, so we both agreed that we should name our daughter Bay. I grew up with a girl named Bayley, whose name I have always loved, so Bay eventually evolved to Bayley for us. No other name really ever came up. (We still have no idea what we would have named the baby if it was a boy!)
We went through all of our genetic testing and beginning ultrasounds and were thrilled to find out that she was perfectly healthy and growing just as she should. I am a constant worrier. I'm always waiting for something bad to happen, a quality I'm really working on changing. I have epilepsy, a seizure disorder, so my pregnancy could be considered high-risk. This definitely added to my stress, but I am luckily surrounded by amazing doctors who have managed to (knock on wood) make pregnancy pretty safe for me. Every test that comes back with good news is always a huge relief to me, as I imagine it is for all moms.
With every passing week I felt more secure and more connected with Bay. Around 20 weeks I started to feel her kick. It was the coolest and also strangest feeling I've ever experienced to date. I was standing in my girlfriend Jens parents kitchen, and she gave me a huge kick to the rib cage. I remember shouting "OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT" and Jens mom who always has something witty to say, replied with "It's the baby you idiot". And that was her first kick.
I feel very lucky and blessed that I have been given the ability to carry this baby, and in doing so, feel as though I have been given one of the greatest responsibilities one can be handed on this earth. I'm truly over the moon.
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